Lovely Klejsi – just remember the difference between were and we’re and make sure you use the correct one. Checking over what you have written before you publish it will help with that!
Keep up the good work
Mr Hacking
Thank you Klejsi for your story this week. I liked how you put the main character inside the house rather than the outside; this took me by surprise. I wonder who your character is speaking to as he says, “quiet, we’re being watched.”? You have included some descriptive language in your writing such as peeped and extremely scared. These terms help to create stronger ideas in the reader’s mind.
Young writers tend to use exclamation marks often in their writing. A good rule of thumb is in a short piece such as this you would only need one maybe two exclamation points. Don’t overuse as they no longer do their job.
Thanks for submitting this week.
Mrs. Middleton
Team 100wc
Thanks Klejsi – you have created some terrific suspense in your story. The shorter sentences at the start help develop the tension and some great choices of words ‘I whispered’ is such a good choice. Well done!
Keep up your writing
John C
Australia
Lovely Klejsi – just remember the difference between were and we’re and make sure you use the correct one. Checking over what you have written before you publish it will help with that!
Keep up the good work
Mr Hacking
Thank you Klejsi for your story this week. I liked how you put the main character inside the house rather than the outside; this took me by surprise. I wonder who your character is speaking to as he says, “quiet, we’re being watched.”? You have included some descriptive language in your writing such as peeped and extremely scared. These terms help to create stronger ideas in the reader’s mind.
Young writers tend to use exclamation marks often in their writing. A good rule of thumb is in a short piece such as this you would only need one maybe two exclamation points. Don’t overuse as they no longer do their job.
Thanks for submitting this week.
Mrs. Middleton
Team 100wc
Thanks Klejsi – you have created some terrific suspense in your story. The shorter sentences at the start help develop the tension and some great choices of words ‘I whispered’ is such a good choice. Well done!
Keep up your writing
John C
Australia
Never see something like it it is realy good better